EDGE Interview: Falling in Love With Dating Coach Daddy Trev

Emell Adolphus READ TIME: 8 MIN.

EDGE: Is Valentine's Day, or any other holiday, the right moment to spice things up in the bedroom? Or is that too much pressure? What's the best approach?

Daddy Trev: Valentine's Day is the perfect day to spice things up in the bedroom. Many other holidays revolve around social connection with friends and family, and they can be exhausting, or just lacking in privacy. But on Valentine's Day, no one is really throwing parties. So you and your special someone can just focus on each other's desires. And I do recommend surprising him with something that feels extra naughty. Cupid isn't out here shooting lullaby arrows. He wants to hear spanking sounds and the F-word on repeat!

EDGE: How would you recommend starting a conversation about opening your relationship?

Daddy Trev: It's important that partners regularly communicate their desires with each other. If a guy tells me he wants to open up his relationship, I ask him to clarify what that means to him, and of course what are the reasons he wants to do so. Both partners must be on the same page and feel comfortable with whatever level of "open" they decide to explore. "Open, but together" is a common scenario for couples who want to have new sexual experiences where both partners partake equally. Approaching the subject as a shared experience ensures that neither partner feels excluded from whatever encounters they are about to have. And then, of course, it all comes down to regular communication, without which unspoken boundaries may start to get crossed, and trust becomes jeopardized.

EDGE: What about if you want to close your relationship after being open?

Daddy Trev: Here's the thing. People are allowed to change their mind. Perhaps being open was just something you or your partner wanted to try for a while, and it was totally fine (or maybe it isn't?), but now it's not something you want anymore. Just as you need to get buy-in from your partner in order to open the relationship, you'll need to do the same in order to close it. Express your concerns, and talk about the vision you created for your partnership. Maybe being open at this time doesn't sit right with you, or it's not in alignment with the vision you both claim to share. "Scaling back" or changing the parameters might be a step you can both agree on at first. But you must be clear and honest with each other regarding how you feel about a new dynamic, or going back to how things were, in a sense.

EDGE: Going into 2024, what do you anticipate will be the hot-button issue for relationships?

Daddy Trev: The apps will continue to be there. I think it's going to be casting a wider net, not focusing so much on a type. I think we put so much on what someone looks like and who we see ourselves with. And of course everyone wants to see themselves with a hot man. We want to be attracted to our partner.

EDGE: But what is a hot man?

Daddy Trev: Right, that's subjective. But in this social media age when we are bombarded, social media is going to tell you it's a guy with round pecs and washboard abs and big shoulders and thick thighs, and you have to see through that. You have to see that for what it is. That's a projection. That's not even something that's necessarily real and it's not something we should all rally around. I do see people embracing other body types and grooming features. Definitely people are more open.

EDGE: So perhaps then this is the year we stop blaming "gay culture" for our problems?

Daddy Trev: I don't want to blame gay culture for anything, but people do blame the culture on a lot of things that are not going well for them personally. Monogamy is not straight culture. And polyamory isn't.

EDGE: Right.

Daddy Trev: There are definitely camps who feel very strongly about their experience (but) that is a personal decision between two people and hopefully they are on the same page about it.

When booking a romance package at the Romer Hotel in Hell's Kitchen, a session with Daddy Trev is included.

by Emell Adolphus

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